NINE MONTHS LATER
Therefore, by the authority of the almighty God
of Saint Peter and Paul and by our Own,
this venerable brother of ours,
we create and solemnly proclaim
of the Holy Roman Church,
Cardinal Bernardo Alonso Gutierrez.
Receive the ring from the hands of Peter.
And know that through the love of the Prince of the Apostles
your love for the Church is strengthened.
Now let us offer the prayer
that Christ has given us as the model of all prayers:
Let us pray.
The Pope told me I would become a cardinal.
He didn't keep his promise.
I don't know...
This Pope...
I don't know... I don't know...
But I know so many things...
If I were to speak...
I don't know...
And now it's time for me to bid you all farewell.
I should have done it before,
but the Holy Father kept me in Rome
so I could begin work on my new responsibilities.
I beg your pardon for only coming back here after nine months to...
to say goodbye and turn right around and head back to Rome.
But before I leave,
I'd like to introduce you to the new bishop of San Pedro Sula,
Monsignor Jorge Aguero.
I know Monsignor Aguero very well.
He's a hero.
From this pulpit he will shout at you
to forsake evil, to fight against the gangs,
to say no to death,
to violence
and the narcotrafficking that infests Honduras.
He will refuse to give communion to crime bosses
and he will refuse to perform weddings for their daughters.
Yes, he will do all the things that I have failed to do.
Yes, because I'm not a hero.
Because...
I'm afraid.
Like you.
Perhaps that is why you have loved me, just a little. No?
Because I didn't make you uncomfortable.
I never asked you to choose.
I never blackmailed you by saying that in order to be good Christians
you had to let yourselves be murdered
by the henchmen of the drug cartels.
I loved you for the way you were...
not for the way you ought to be.
Now I bid you farewell. I'm going to Rome.
But that's not going home for me.
I want you to know that,
as far as I'm concerned,
Honduras is and always will be
...my home.
Attention!
Mr. Prime Minister, please allow me to recommend extreme caution
with the Pope.
The information I've received
suggests that he's more diabolical than saintly.
Excellent! He's finally meeting his match.
Welcome, Mr. Prime Minister, the Holy Father is expecting you.
- Thanks. - This way please.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Good morning.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
We'll be late for the audience!
Good morning.
You weren't all that wrong: this Pope is diabolical.
Good morning.
This Pope is a saint.
I can say that much after my meeting with the Holy Father.
A warm, productive and stimulating meeting.
Nonetheless, substantial disagreements
remain with the Holy See.
The Italian government, despite the Pontiff's misgivings,
will continue the efforts to legalize common law marriages,
no matter what the sexual orientation is.
And, as you know,
the revision of the eight per thousand Church tax is approaching
and will be the subject of our next cabinet meeting.
Jesus.
Who sent you? Pius XIII?
No, Raffaele Esposito, the magistrate.
Captain Becchi is here and he would like to ask you a few questions.
And I'll be happy to provide him with some answers.
This is for you.
Read it!
DEVOTED FAN
THE MAN BEHIND THE SCENES
What do you recommend?
Father Antonello did a great job with "A Great Little Soul",
So did Liliana with "A Man"...
I'll take "1001 Illustrious Names Blackmailed by Angelo Voiello."
There, only there.
PLEASE DO NOT SIT
May I have some cane sugar?
We don't have any cane sugar, Captain.
Eminence, do you have any idea why I'm here?
The owner of the "Er Core de Roma" restaurant...
must have filed a complaint against me.
Last week he claimed that Maradona is still on drugs,
and I really lashed out at him.
I said: "You ugly shit, don't you dare
take the Lord's name in vain again."
No, Your Eminence, we're here about Tonino Pettola. Do you know him?
- Who? - Tonino Pettola.
Ah, yes. Of course, I know his reputation,
a lousy reputation, let me add.
He's a notorious con artist who claims he can pick out
the Blessed Virgin Mary amid his flock of sheep.
The Congregation for the Causes of Saints has repeatedly
and vehemently rejected his applications.
Have you ever met him personally?
Never.
Pettola's relatives claim the exact opposite.
They say that Tonino Pettola,
one evening a few months ago, in his home
met with you, the Pope and other Cardinals.
From that moment on he seemed shocked
and obsessed with your meeting because they say
that you threatened to throw him in quicksand.
Does it strike you as plausible, Captain,
that the Cardinals, the Secretary of State and the Pope
would all go to Tonino Pettola's house
and threaten to throw him in quicksand?
It does seem strange but not implausible.
Why? What happened to Tonino Pettola?
He disappeared.
His relatives claim he was being persecuted
by persons high up in the Vatican.
Do you really think we'd waste our time on a poor raving lunatic?
That poor man had followers all around the world
and was about to found his own Church.
He's not the only one, Captain.
At least two crazies pop up every day.
If the Vatican were to persecute and threaten them all,
it wouldn't have time to do anything else.
Phone records reveal that numerous calls from inside the Vatican
were made to Pettola.
I believe it.
People are always making calls from the Vatican.
I've been fighting for years against such wasteful behavior.
Waste is not the point, Your Eminence.
Don't you think it's a contradiction?
If Pettola was an insignificant artist and you had no interest in him,
why all the phone calls?
The Congregation for the Causes of Saints was in contact with him,
doing their best to check his urgent demands.
The calls not only came
from the Congregation for the Causes of Saints
but also from Your Eminence's offices and from the Pope's.
In the Secretary of State and the Pope's offices
there are about 250 employees.
I can't rule out that someone might have had a reason
to call Tonino Pettola.
Perhaps someone that believed all his fibs and wanted to meet him.
Do you have any idea where Tonino Pettola might be?
He's probably in some far-flung monastery praying and repenting.
You have an answer for everything, Eminence.
That's my job, Captain.
- I've heard the same thing. - What, Captain?
That Maradona is still doing drugs. A friend of mine told me,
he's in Intelligence and stationed in Dubai.
Why do you want to hurt me, Captain? Why?
Because I'm a fan of Inter, Your Eminence.
Good evening.